More Questions, More Answers, More Understanding

So, if you by now don’t know how talented my dear friend over at Crumpled Paper Cranes is, then you’re like by behind. She’s very talented. I’d be jealous of her if jealousy didn’t insinuated that I am not genuinely happy for her success. She’s damn good. Forever ago, I challenged her to answer a few questions, I suppose because I’m a sadist. She answered them and the answers were satisfying enough. But she left some questions down below them and they are begging to be answered. So challenge accepted. I’ll accept the gauntlet that apparently no one else was brave enough to attempt.

1. You are a woman (Or, pretend you are). You are the last woman on earth. Humankind’s continuation depends on your copulation. There are only two men left on earth. You must pick one to mate with. Passion is not required. Only procreation. Take your pick, and explain your decision.

                   Donald Trump, or Justin Bieber? Oh, and remember, you have to explain why.

Wow, so considering the current state of the world, this question seems very loaded. The answer’s easy: Bieber. At least he’s essentially an attractive young man.

2. Based on your personality, what fruit do you feel best encompasses you?

I’d probably say I’m a pineapple: mostly brought out for show, hard to get through but you think is really good for you but probably isn’t.

3. You fall in love with a mime. Do you enjoy the silence, playing Depeche Mode in your head? Or, do you break the ice?

Break the ice, I’d say. Though, I struggle to think of a situation where I’d fall for a mime. I guess stranger things can happen. Take our current political system for an example.

4. To your best estimate, just how long was your longest wait in the coffee line?

Probably like 45 minutes at a Starbucks. Damn Starbucks.

5. It’s Game Night at your apartment. Of course, you’re playing Twister. Is your boss cool enough for an invitation?

Yeah. For sure. Of course. I mean, I don’t know what game night of mine where we’re ever playing Twister. I’m chubby and asthmatic. The game of the night is Monopoly or Cards Against Humanity.

6. Based on the last five songs you’ve listened to, if you plagiarized a verse as a pickup line, do you think you could land a date?

So my last 5 songs include:

• Mr. Brightside by the Killers
• Broken Drum by Cash Cash and Fitz and the Tantrums
• Roll Up by Fitz and the Tantrums
• Overtime by Cash Cash
• Vanilla by Gackt

So I’ll say Mr. Brightside and I’d say “Open up my eager eyes, I’m Mr. Brightside.” as my pickup line.

7. For those who are older than me and therefore, old enough to adequately remember, was Ally McBeal that hot? What about Sigourney Weaver? 

So I’m not that much older than you, so rude. And two, she was okay? Both are okay.

8. When you were a child, did it ever cross your mind that crawling into the refrigerator would be like tumbling into a time machine?

No, I was too small to reach the fridge so it was just a magical land of food that I needed 2 chairs and a phone book to reach.

9. If you had nothing to eat for about a week, what exactly would you do for a Klondike bar? I know. Lame question.

Probably more than my readers and yours would care to know about.

10. From what you know and the things you’ve heard, who is Victoria? What is her secret? And where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

Probably that they have military information or something. And Carmen San Diego is behind the Great Wall, of course.

This was fun! I am happy to accept the challenge and I hope the answers were satisfying enough! Let’s do this again real soon!