When You Think You Have It All Together

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”- Andy Warhol

I found myself amazingly within a year with my whole life turned around and changed for the better.

New job, new city, new apartment, new chapter in my life.

Really, my life had become like Sex in the City but I’m no Carrie Bradshaw think more Samantha with a dash of Mr. Big. But this left me in a strange position. Many of my friends, I somehow managed to leave behind not just physically but status-wise as well . Like most 20-somethings, most of my friends still aren’t gainfully employed but are underemployed like most millennials.

Many are still working retail or food service positions and even more are still in school, refusing the leave the comfort of academia lest the real world be too cruel. And while I’m not here to judge or put down any of these people, keep in mind I was working retail, too, not long ago it does put me in a strange position.

When you’re the only one working a 9-5 and your friends aren’t but everyone seems to be just fine…who really has it all together?

It’s rough when I’m helping people I look up to and cherish find internships when I want to place them into careers. It’s rough when schedules conflict because of the wonderful regular irregularity of working in an office. It’s rough when your friends are still talking about finals when all you have to talk about is bills.

In my desire to help all of my friends get to a better place, the place I was so blessed to reach, I’m realizing that I’m overstepping boundaries and putting off those who matter most to me: my friends. I don’t think any less of them for the places in their lives that they are, again, I was just there but in my desire to see the superpotential in everyone, I’m in a difficult position of being that one friend.

I don’t want to say I’ve outgrown people because to me that’s nearly impossible. You don’t outgrow relationships, they just change and sometimes they change at a rate not consistent with the actual events that correspond to this change. And I love my friends, I don’t want to leave them behind at all. So we grow and adjust, we move back Skype dates. We rearrange mall meetings to fix around our daily commutes. We maximize the holidays. We write letters, send postcards, we reach out and branch out for each other. We travel. We meet in the middle. We adjust to the conflicts that life throws our way and we stay on top of it for the greater goal of maintaining our connection. It’s amazing what we’ll do to keep things as normal as possible. And I love my friends for that.

Just remember, I may be working a 9-5 (And a 9-5 that I absolutely adore, by the way.) but in those hours I’m not in the office I’m still cosplaying, writing, painting, DIY-project making, anime-loving, video game playing and all those things that you guys still love me for. (Rants included.) And no matter where any of my friends are in their lives whether it’s waiting tables or climbing the corporate ladder, we’re all doing this best in this life that we can with what we’re given and that’s something I’ll treasure always.